The steady hum of the tractors reverberates in my ears as I sit on the back of my horse behind the ally way. I take a steady breath in through my nose and out through my mouth. My horse swishes her tail in anxiety of the pending run, and I feel her muscles quiver underneath as the tractor grinds to halt to allow the next runner in the arena. “One Mississippi” I say quietly as I hear my name through the squelchy speakers. My horse jogs in place as the anticipation of the ally way draws near. “Two Mississippi” I exhale as I walk to the back gate, as the ring steward swings open the ally gate. “Good Luck Karlie” she says as the music starts up again. My vision has narrowed to only seeing what is happening inside the arena as my horse side steps closer. The rest of the world has slipped away from me, “RUN LIL MOMMA” I exhale into her ear as I lean forward and feel her excitement as she explodes forward into a full run. She runs to feel freedom and I go with her to feel the wild excitement. This moment of pure freedom is what I live for, the pure wild adrenaline rush needs no explanation.
Fast forward three weeks ....
This morning, I listen numbly as the news anchors continue to report on the growing COVID-19 pandemic that is sweeping the globe. I hold my luke warm coffee and lean forward to grab the remote to turn up the TV. I slowly let out my breath as I listen to the hospital shortages, recent increasing death tolls and how each different county across the state is handling the epidemic. “One Mississippi” I whisper as I feel the anxiety of the future rise in my chest. “Two Mississippi” I allow myself to exhale, as I try push down the growing since of dread I’m experiencing. “Three Mississippi” escapes my lips as my beautiful daughter comes bounding out of her bedroom with her puppy on her heals. "Good Morning baby!", I say cheerfully as I change the news to cartoons and get up to make her breakfast and now heat up my cold coffee. Protecting her innocence from this pandemic carries a heavy weight, and I would prefer her not to witness the havoc that COVID-19 is creating on humanity.
I find it amazing right now, how differently my life has moved in the last three weeks. COVID has moved into our daily lives like a bad dream and taken up residence without any permission. It is almost surreal to see how humanity shifts; from doing for others, to hoarding toilet paper. I have to admit that I do have 12 rolls of toilet paper and two cases of water, and I feel like one of the richest people on earth right now. My daughter’s annoyance about me hovering when she is washing her hands is palpable in our daily routine. So I find myself constantly asking, where do we go from here?
As I hold my daughter a little closer to me over the next couple of weeks during this epidemic, I will continue to draw closer to my God, friends and family. I will give out toilet paper to those that need it, and try to find some sort of normalcy in this new chaotic world that we find ourselves navigating through. Which I will be honest to my readers, the world seems to make a little more since to me every time I step up into a saddle. I ride to feel power, to feel strength ... I ride to feel wild and free ...
How are you moving through this chaos? Are your questions being answered? Are you able to find peace among your friends and family? Let’s continue to spread love even though we have to remain 6 feet apart.
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